I, am at a time in my life where I am searching for: Who I really am, Where do I go from here, where did by family come from and where do the dead go. What are the shadow's I see from the corner of my eye, and who is it that calls my name late at night?
The best things I like to do are spend time with my family and go to Disney World (because I enjoy watching the reaction of first timers)
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10 comments:
YOU hear people calling your name, too? I never knew that. I don't just hear them at night. I sense them around me a lot of the time. Sometimes it is very unpleasant, other times it's comforting.
I think those voices are our memories of people we've loved. Our imaginations speaking thoughts and memories of these loved ones into our conscious thoughts.
You sound very much like husband 1-3
Where do the dead go? I thought you were a Christian. If you are then, then your answer is in the Bible. Shadows & voices? Hmmm guess I never thought of it that way. I've always opened up to feel and hear what's trying to come to me.I've never wondered, I've always known who it is.Yeah, I know when Mikey, Mamo, Grandma V, Bunny etc. are with me.
Like, just today I looked out my kitchen window at the morning sun and for some reason I thought of Mamo looking out of her window in Canada. Which is really strange because all she could see was her neighbor (maybe she was a snoop?). Anyway she was with me this morning, I think she just wanted to be with me. I was alone, it was quite, I could feel her. It was sweet.
I am a Christian. I also know that the bible was written in a dead lanuage by men. Using the word of God and then translated into many lanuages by many different men. Too much room for error.
When I was younger I my mother, sister, brother, and I knew when we needed to talk to each other. Maybe , I just block too many things now.
So as a Christian you don't believe that GOD worked through these men to bring his word to us? I agree the Bible has been interprited by many and all kinds of "religions" have been formed around it. BUT do you believe the Bible is the word of GOD?
If NOT, then yes, it would be hard to explain "the dead" or dying.
If you trust and believe in God as your "father" then wouldn't any "father" want something wonderful for all of their children?
Ummm...the prior post as daughter #3 is actually daughter #4. Oops!
I believe the Bible is the Word of God spoken thru prophets. Altough men have meddled with it over the generations, their meddling can never diminish the Bible's truth. The Holy Spirit can guide us to His Truth as we read the Bible by speaking to our hearts. He can help us discern if we open our hearts to Him and listen.
I have a hard time with conflicted feelings about the people I sense around me who have passed on. My brother, for example. Being youngsters at the time of his death, we fought like tigers, but we also were extremely close. As close as 2 people can be and spent a lot of time together. I had conflicted feelings then about him, and to this day, I still do. He made me happy...he made me angry. He made me feel loved...he made me feel ugly. He was kind and loving to me...he was cruel to me. I was sweet to him...I was cruel to him. He hit me...I twisted his ears painfully. I worshiped him...I hated him. These feelings endure, despite my congnitive understanding that this was normal sibling feelings and behavior. I miss him...I'm mad at him for leaving me. I want to hug him...I want to punch him. Most of all, I wanted to be like him.
The natural development of our relationship from childhood into adulthood was aborted by his untimely death, leaving much unresolved. It leaves me wondering things like, would he be proud of me? what would he think of this or that thing I've done with my life? would we have grown closer as we aged? where was he when I was going through some messed up shit and needed him during my teens and early twenties?
Before he died, he had gotten into his late teens and had taken to spending more time away from home and not including me in his plans. When he was younger, he dragged my ass almost everywhere he went. I slept in his room most of the time. Not so when he started dating and driving! To me, his death was just like one more thing Mikey did without me, leaving me alone and sad. For the longest time I wanted to die, too, so I could be where he was, so I could be like him.
I beleve that the bible is the word of God. I have studied many religons and have gone to instruction in quite a few. It just pointed out to me that the essencence of the bible is true, but each person puts their own spin on it. I beleive that there is a plan for each of use, and that we have free choice, so what we choose maynot be the exact plan. The important part is to get from point A (birth) to point (B) heaven.
I had a someone tell me when my son died that IF YOU BELEVE IN A MERCIFUL GOD, WE WOULD NOT TAKE YOU UNKNOWINGLY. If we search our minds we can find all of our loved ones saying good-by with in a short period befor they died.
My son's earliest words included " I don"t have time for that." when ever he had to wait or was told he needed to be older.
I recieved a letter from my sister as sick as she was just prior to her death.
My mothers parting words everytime I left her and said good-by I will see you soon were "If I am still here" and she asked the last month
for me to help her call her brother Jim,
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